Bursty

I don't know how to tell you this.

But...

I think that a spider bit my knee.
It's all puffy and swollen and there's a giant red burst-y thing on it that I want to get rid of real bad.

It's gross and nasty, so of course I needed to share it with you as soon as possible.

If I had my Blackberry already, I could take a picture of it.

Too bad, right.

I'm Going to Be A Mamaberry

It's true!
I am now the proud parent of an even clunkier phone!

O, darling Blackberry...
{ I'll need a name for the little poopsie that sounds less like one of Strawberry Shortcake's friends and more like "Happy the Metro"}

I've been waiting to be free from Crappy the Samsung since a few days after I received it in the mail, when I realized that "smooth and sleek keypad" was just a cover for Samsung saving money by getting rid of individualized button-ry.

Yes
I know that iPhones are the gadget to have.
And yes
I know that Blackberries are more for the funny-shoed businessman type.

Ne'ertheless, I am very excited to meet and hold Curve, the Titanium wonder phone.
So say whatever you will--
This new phone will bring me closer to God.
Just you wait.

Toothpastefordinner For Lunch

I may be easy to please, but I seriously just got the biggest thrill by scrolling down the August section of Toothpastefordinner.com .

Go ahead, do it.



The Pedant's funeral?
Pirahna-head syndrome?

Classic.

Just A Note About Memory...What Was I Saying?

Can anyone solve my memory loss problem?

I hate it.

I decided to write a blog about it and it's amazing that I even remembered what I was writing about by the time the page loaded.

It's that bad.

I can't remember names of things.
Dates of things.
Things I thought about telling people.
Questions I need to ask people.


I once told my boss that I was a terrible administrator because I had no date/time comprehension. I could be typing for five minutes or fifteen minutes or twenty minutes and it would all feel the same to me. The morning could pass and all of its events without any notice in my brain. If there was a 9AM meeting, I would just as likely think it was 9AM at 9AM as I would at 11:34AM. Time-sensitivity, I have you not.


But she pointed out that the thing that made me a great administrator was that I had realized my weaknesses and capitalized on my strengths to compensate. I had created an intricate system of post-it-noting that would remind me of important dates and times, and often times remind me to remind myself to look to see if there was anything important that I should be doing, thinking, moving around.


I can always remember, ironically, the lyrics to the old song that fits my predicament so hand-in-glovely:

Do you suffer from short-term memory loss?

I don't remember

Working / Laughing

I have a one-train mind.

The track is never the same, but whatever track I end up on...the train gets stuck real good. Today my mind felt like a wild mustang ranch with a broken fence. Horses everywhere. Chaos and excitement and swirling dust.

I think, at one point in the day, my heart was actually racing with a swiftness that quite caught me off guard and caused a small sort of fever.

All the while I sat nearly motionless at my desk inside a light grey cubicle under fluorescent lights, printing mortgage documents for people with awkward names that sound like feminine hygiene products or human innards. I spend half of my printing time listening to regional news of France in French and the other half of my time laughing quietly to myself about the names of the people on our loans.

Really? You named your daughter after a redwood tree?
Really? You named your son the equivalent of Todd Todderts?

People, I ask this genuinely--when it comes to naming your children, what are you thinking?

That's why Jack is such a good, strong name, for a boy.
And of course, for a girl--Asbestos.

The Taking Tree

I stood below and shook the tree
I let your leaves rain down on me
I never crawled your gnarled-up branch
To lay upon you on my back
Never passed a night of stars
Cradled in your twisted arms

I stood below and shook you, tree
And felt your leaves rain down on me

Le To Do List: L'August '09

TO DO LIST Write Thank Yous Call my sister Call my other sister Call my mom Call my brother Wish I could call Dad Study math Study more math Study even more math Get a cat {Make jokes about the cat you'll never ever get} Purchase an insurance plan for the school year Draw a map of our healthcare system on the back of a napkin and then burn it in effigy Find all of Shelby's earrings at the bottom of purse and return them Study even moooooore math Daydream for 2.3 minutes about Mr. Brilliant Buy groceries Make more pudding