Wednesday, July 30, 2014


I slept badly and woke up feeling weird.
Feeling two steps behind.

Where am I, I kept asking myself.

I listened to an encouraging podcast (it failed to encourage me).

I did morning prayer time, but was repeatedly interrupted.

I bought Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and sugar--a sure fire way to improve my mood.
But the coffee was sour in my mouth.

Where am I?

I went to the Eucharist service at St. John's.
There was a woman with a little toddler boy, playing on the altar while we prayed in the small chapel. He had a little Buddhist hair cut. I was confused. Why are you playing with him at the altar?

Is there no relief from this weirdness, I asked myself.

No; not at the moment. No relief.

Which is why every attempt to sneak into relief is only making me more miserable. 

It's a terrible feeling to eat and feel unsatisfied afterwards. Likewise, it's a terrible feeling to seek relief but not find it where you expected it.

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