Shelby cut off her cable. She's not really living here anymore because the house is selling, so in addition to selling her washer and dryer and our microwave, she has ended the cable.
For most people that means one of two things: you go sit at a funky coffee shop to do your Facebooking, or you perch yourself on the corner of your living room floor where you get the best reception of your neighbor's internet connection. I have chosen to do the latter and am currently sitting next to a chilly window in my pajamas and Ugg boots.
So I was looking at a Facebook page and then I clicked onto something really juicy and waited for the page to load. But after a few moments of loading the screen went blank with the words, "Your computer is not connected to the internet." YES it is, I wanted to yell back. It's just not a great connection.
So of course this got me thinking about my connection with God. Am I doing the same thing in my spiritual walk? Do I connect to past experiences of worship and prayer that are so far removed from the present that they no longer have the same inspirational power that they used to?
Is my heart so far away from the worship that when I'm in the middle of something juicy and I need to hear from God, I get silence or a blank page telling me that my heart is not connected to God at the moment?
It happens. I was just telling Whitney last night that sometimes I feel like I'm only a shell of the person I once was. My zeal and my hope are out there, or in here rather, but the only way I'll be able to grab onto them and embody them again is if I've got full bars again.
I guess that's what this blog is about. I need to stop moving from corner to corner in this living room, trying to get this weak connection to be just barely good enough to view an internet page for 10 seconds. I need to figure out where it is that God offers me the strongest connection and move myself and my connection there.
Last night, while reading Deuteronomy, I came across a verse that sounds a lot like this. God is instructing the Israelites through Moses about how they will live in the land He has promised them. Moses says in Deut 12:5:
But you shall seek the place where the Lord your God chooses...to put His name for His dwelling place; and there you shall go.
Yeah, he was talking about where God would set up camp among the tribes, but I think God was speaking through this age old scripture to me here in Tennessee. It's an invitation to look around my life and ask God how He wants to set up camp among the various things going on for me right now. Where does He want me to worship Him? How? Is it in the morning or the night? Is it with my Bible open and my mouth shut or is it with my hands in the air on the back porch, singing out? Is it in a coffee shop in the middle of the city bustle or is it on the path around the lake?
I want to find where He is setting up His dwelling place in my life and go there. That's where my connection with Him will be the strongest. That's how I will embody hope and zeal this year. One might say that His dwelling place is wherever we are. In the same vein, those people begin to think that whatever they do, because they are children of God, they are living out the will of God, and may make very little effort to embody anything outside of their own desires.
I would say to those people that a quick read through Deuteronomy might give them a better view of how God expects His people to live. And I'm not talking about the clean and unclean animals. But God is giving these commandments about clean living and proper prioritizing of life and tells the people, "You shall not at all do as we are doing here today--every man doing whatever is right in his own eyes." (Deut 12:8) So even though it's true that God is always with us and that we are His dwelling place, it's also true that we must set Him apart in our hearts as Lord. And that other Christian catch-phrase, "If He's not Lord OF ALL, He's not Lord AT ALL."
New year, new start. I don't know why I put that last part in, but just in cases.