You Can't Always Get What You Want, But You Can Always Get Back in the Game

I haven't been writing because of one very important, all-consuming project. We celebrated a few CEOs who have transformed their companies. Now that project is over, and I can sit back and strategize my next move.

Funny-- I thought I knew what my next move was.
Until a few weeks ago, it was absolute. Today...it is no longer an option.


When I realized that, I was so disappointed that I was angry. Embarrassingly, it took me two weeks to get through the "if I can't do this, I don't want to do anything" slump.

The only way I got through the slump, was by reframing this let down as an opportunity. That might seem like a comfort mechanism, but that's not what it is--and that's not why I did it.

I did it, I intentionally reframed the situation, because I know that it is a good way out of slumps. I know that people who do that are more successful and happier than people who don't. I know that people who intentionally reframe challenges tend to be more grateful and more resilient. And I want to be both of those in increasing measure as I age.

So I reframed. I said, "The best thing about not getting what I wanted was..."

Was that it forced me to want something else. It forced me to ask myself what my non-negotiables are, and to let go of brand names, titles, locations and salaries in order to find a good fit for my passions and talents.

The best thing about not getting what I wanted, is that I found out what I care about, what I'm willing to fight for, and even what I'm worth. Sometimes when you slip easily from one stage of life into the next, you don't have to ask those hard questions. Slipping into something is a whole different exercise than climbing into something, but I won't bother tracing that metaphor out right here.

So it was a good thing, not getting what I wanted.

On Despising Humanity

A good man is pleased, rather than amused, to find patterns in human behavior.

Instead of, "oh God, how sad we are," he says, "wow, we do that, it's true!"

Last Thoughts on the Permanence of the Temporary

 Francois Mauriac said:

No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever...

The Inevitable Fall of Small Expectations

Maybe the reason we're continually disappointed, is not because we're asking for too much, but because we're asking for too little.

If a dream is specific enough to be grasped in one hand, it's fragile enough to be crushed in the hand when we lose our footing and tighten our grip.

Hope That Doesn't Disappoint

Even when we have nothing to be optimistic about,
We have hope.

Hope is different from optimism.
Optimism is thinking about the future in light of our resources, our investments and good luck. Optimism says "I worked so hard, I bet I'll get that promotion."

Hope is not optimism.

Hope is having the taste of fruit in your mouth when you have no tree and no money.

Hope is sensing that something good is tied up in all this. That this thing in your hand, which on paper does not fit, will be wonderful. Hope tells you that you can have wonderful experiences that don't have anything to do with who you are and what you've earned.

No wonder hope does not disappoint.