Friday, August 21, 2009

I See A Lawsuit



On a completely different note, there are a bajillion pregnant women working here at the mortgage company. A bajillion. Some of them, like Sarah, are the most lovely and darling women I've ever met. Some are just pod-people, as far as I know.

Like every other unpregnant woman, I just adore hearing about another woman's eating, sleeping, barfing and birthing issues...like any other woman, I love to listen to any topics that allow me to live out motherhood vicariously through the wombs of others. Of course I do, who wouldn't.

But I draw the line at bringing babies into the workplace after the blessed event we've all heard about for nine months has finally occurred.

I'm saying this because only a few feet away, there's a crowd of women surrounding a pastel clothed little infant, passing it from woman to woman like some pagan baby ritual, each woman touching its peachy cheeks and soft little hands and feet while it shrieks in irritation. Poor little soldier, imprisoned in a tiny Michelin suit... unable to free itself from the overwhelming pride and joy of its mother.

I have been instructed to mention that Rebecca Lee did not participate in this event. Noted.

But my real reason for telling you all this is that I think that the next wave in office politics and political correctness is going to be pediaxual harassment. As in, the sight of your babies in my zone is going to possibly injure your position at the firm. As in...if an unpregnant woman overhears you talking about cribs or room colors or feeding patterns...you could forseeably a call from HR.

It's incredible to imagine, I know.

5 comments:

  1. :) You're funny, and I'm not sure if you're serious or kidding, but I still like it, and you.

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  2. As another unpregnant woman, I too am losing patience. At first I thought that others were right in their patronizing sentiments, "You'll be different when your time comes." What if my time doesn't come? Must I endure the sisterhood of empathetic lactation and hormones when I have no pastel-blanketed, peachy cheek bundle of joy, poop, and boogers to hoist around on my hip? Now, I think the others, particularly the sisterhood of the Estrogenites, should just back off. I'm weary of every opportunity to insert pregnancy-related banter in the mix; no matter how remotely relevant said banter may be to the topic at hand. All of this reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine's nasally, annoying, but well-intentioned new mom friend implores, "Elaine...ya gotta have a BABY!" Elaine did not cave under peer pressure, and in fact, the baby was "breathtaking."

    Is it just me, or are there more "breathtaking" babies as of late?

    At any rate, I think I need to talk to my teacher's union rep about pediaxual harrassment.

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  3. That episode was the first thing I thought of too!

    Allie, you have NO IDEA how much Meaghan and I identify with this sentiment at the moment. Since we've moved to Logan, UT we've been bombarded with babies. They're everywhere! I've never seen so many double strollers (Many of the sidewalks here are twice as wide as normal for that reason I'm sure.). Every time we go anywhere there will be a couple about the same age as us with 3-4 kids under the age of 6 swarming them and the wife is ALWAYS pregnant. It's really unbelievable. We don't dislike babies or kids, but when 50%+ of Utah State STUDENTS are married and most with kids it's hard to not feel like I should have grandkids by now. I could go on. Hmmmm . . . looks like I need to post about this myself.

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  4. It's funny how we lose ourselves entirely into whatever season of life we find ourselves in. I guess it's pretty normal-but funny if it's not your season.

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